“I still live with my parents and will constantly quarrel with them”

I am 26, I live with my parents and constantly conflict with them, I swear because of any little thing. Papa is especially annoying, sometimes I even want it to be not at all in my life. Lately has become especially nervous, I barely reassure myself. And what’s the reason – I don’t know. Maybe this is because I’m lonely? There is no close friend or friend. What to do?

Jeanne, Your loneliness can really cause sadness, bad mood and provoke conflicts with parents. But, perhaps, the tension with the family arises due to the fact that neither parents nor you yourself can get used to new relationships in the family. While you grew up, mom and dad learned to communicate with a small child, take care of him (about you), treat, teach, feed. We are not born parents, we become them, solving new and new tasks every day, learning to distinguish between the needs of our child, trying to give him more than they gave us in childhood.

Your parents are accustomed to a certain relationship: you are small, you don’t understand anything, they, adults, know better and wish you good. You grew up, studied, gradually you began to appear your opinion and your own views on many problems, but parents still treat you as a child. It often happens in families, and it is difficult to endure to endure. Therefore, many adult children leave home in order to assert themselves and not argue with loved ones because of every trifle or rules that are already outdated for them.

Your sadness and loneliness bother your parents, your condition is alarming, and they begin to express their feelings, touching you

But the children who stay with their parents are forced to prove their rights to an independent life daily. This is a test for both parties: in order to agree on new rules and obligations, you have to go an interesting but difficult path of negotiations and beliefs, without losing mutual respect. It is very difficult for parents to reconsider their views on the child – it is more familiar to take care of him, take care, teach.

Perhaps you

, Jeanne, should think over the tactics of changes in communicating with loved ones with a psychologist, saying offenses and memories that prevent you from coexisting peacefully. It is important to recall and revise from the perspective of an adult your opinion about the actions of parents and their own experiences. Mom and dad are nearby, and it is difficult for them to notice that you have become an adult. What actions can be convinced that you are an independent woman?

In addition, probably your conflict has a reason. Maybe your sadness and loneliness bother your parents, your condition causes anxiety in them, and they begin to express their feelings, touching you, annoying with their “harassment”. Every parent wants to see his child healthy and happy. Perhaps dad and mom are upset and are trying to adjust what, it seems to them, they “did not give” you in childhood. And it’s hard for you to endure their words and actions. I think it is very important to carefully figure it out all this.